holidays

From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - 10 Gifts to Give Yourself This Year

  1. Turn off the TV news for the holiday season.  Instead, light candles and put on music.

  2. Notice even the smallest of your daily accomplishments instead of what you DIDN’T get done. Keep a “success list!” 

  3. Remember that we get what we focus on in life. Focusing on good points in yourself and others will bring MORE of them.

  4. Take a “senses walk” for 20 minutes, 4 times a week. Notice the breath in your lungs, the smell of the air, the change of the seasons. Outdoor light and exercise both stimulate serotonin production, lifting mood.

  5. Take a few minutes daily to “hibernate.” Close your door, remove your shoes, dim the lights, and focus on what makes you happy.

  6. Breathe in to the slow count of four. Hold it four slow counts. Release in four slow counts. Repeat until you feel the muscles relax all over!

  7. Stay aware of your thoughts. 

  8. Don’t take on another person’s bad mood. Guard yourself, removing yourself from their company if necessary.

  9. Find freedom by letting go of criticizing and complaining about yourself or someone else.

  10. If you need to make changes, act NOW. Don’t put off health or happiness! 



From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Holiday Stress

When the Holidays Aren’t So Merry—Making it Through the Season

“What’s wrong with me?” my patient (fictional) asked, shredding the tissue in her hands as she wept on my couch. “Shouldn’t this be a happy time of year? Why can’t I feel Christmassy and jolly?”

And she is not alone. When you think of all of the people who are grieving and/or going through their first holiday season after divorce, widowhood, or the loss of a loved one, you realize that the memories can make the holidays more painful than happy at this time of year. Add to that the additional stress the season brings in the form of activities, shopping, and school events—well, you can see the problem. It’s like adding that last too-much drop of water to an already overflowing bucket.

What to do? If you are experiencing loss this time of year, your goal is this: to make it through. This is not the time to fill your chore list with handmade gifts (or gifts at all—who’s going to blame you this year?) or high stress dinners. If ever there was a time in your life to put you (and your children, if any) first, this is it. Exercise your “say-no” muscle with a firm and assertive smile and pass on committees, obligations, and entertaining. The people who might judge you—and believe me, there are fewer than you imagine—are simply not worth a second thought.

When the memories and tears come, allow them. What we resist, grows stronger, so don’t fight the feelings that arise. Tears actually expel cortisol, a stress hormone that is damaging to the body and needs to come out in order for you to be healthy.

Ask your friends and family for what you need this year, specifically. Do you need help making decisions? You probably have at least one friend who would love to help you. Do you need people to just listen to your grief without advising you? Tell them that you really just need an ear, not a response, from them.

These are just a few ideas; you know best what helps you stay strong. Just remember that you WILL make it through. Rest, heal, and wait for better days.

From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - When the Holidays Aren’t So Merry

When the Holidays Aren’t So Merry—Making it Through the Season

“What’s wrong with me?” my patient (fictional) asked, shredding the tissue in her hands as she wept on my couch. “Shouldn’t this be a happy time of year? Why can’t I feel Christmassy and jolly?”

And she is not alone. When you think of all of the people who are grieving and/or going through their first holiday season after divorce, widowhood, or the loss of a loved one, you realize that the memories can make the holidays more painful than happy at this time of year. Add to that the additional stress the season brings in the form of activities, shopping, and school events—well, you can see the problem. It’s like adding that last too-much drop of water to an already overflowing bucket.

What to do? If you are experiencing loss this time of year, your goal is this: to make it through. This is not the time to fill your chore list with handmade gifts (or gifts at all—who’s going to blame you this year?) or high stress dinners. If ever there was a time in your life to put you (and your children, if any) first, this is it. Exercise your “say-no” muscle with a firm and assertive smile and pass on committees, obligations, and entertaining. The people who might judge you—and believe me, there are fewer than you imagine—are simply not worth a second thought.

When the memories and tears come, allow them. What we resist, grows stronger, so don’t fight the feelings that arise. Tears actually expel cortisol, a stress hormone that is damaging to the body and needs to come out in order for you to be healthy.

Ask your friends and family for what you need this year, specifically. Do you need help making decisions? You probably have at least one friend who would love to help you. Do you need people to just listen to your grief without advising you? Tell them that you really just need an ear, not a response, from them.

These are just a few ideas; you know best what helps you stay strong. Just remember that you WILL make it through. Rest, heal, and wait for better days.

From Maesk Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Ten Gifts to Give Yourself This Year

Well, it's that time of year...a time for friends, holiday parties, good cheer and yes...sometimes more stress and anxiety.  It's important to remember that while it's important to give, it's also even more important to take care of ourselves.  Here are a few ways to do just that:

  1. Turn off the TV news for the holiday season.  Instead, light candles and put on music.
  2. Notice even the smallest of your daily accomplishments instead of what you DIDN’T get done. Keep a “success list!” 
  3. Remember that we get what we focus on in life. Focusing on good points in yourself and others will bring MORE of them.
  4. Take a “senses walk” for 20 minutes, 4 times a week. Notice the breath in your lungs, the smell of the air, the change of the seasons. Outdoor light and exercise both stimulate serotonin production, lifting mood.
  5. Take a few minutes daily to “hibernate.” Close your door, remove your shoes, dim the lights, and focus on what makes you happy.
  6. Breathe in to the slow count of four. Hold it four slow counts. Release in four slow counts. Repeat until you feel the muscles relax all over!
  7. Stay aware of your thoughts. 
  8. Don’t take on another person’s bad mood. Guard yourself, removing yourself from their company if necessary.
  9. Find freedom by letting go of criticizing and complaining about yourself or someone else.
  10.  If you need to make changes, act NOW. Don’t put off health or happiness! 

Maesk Group Counseling hopes you have a very happy Holiday Season!