From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Drug Counseling

In the wake of the Roseburg tragedy, Patrick Kennedy wrote a brilliant piece on the need for treatment for mental illness and addiction.  He talks about his own personal experiences, and how he "found the light."  Well worth a read.  This piece appeared in USA today:

Patrick Kennedy: After Roseburg, face up to mental illness, addiction

Mental illness and substance abuse haunts every family. We must recognize that reality before we can overcome it.

Nearly 10 years ago, I crashed my car into a barrier at the U.S. Capitol at 3 in the morning. The very next day, I began the process of trying to have a conversation about what it’s like to suffer from mental illness and addiction.

Not everyone was in favor of me being open about all of this. Even my father, Sen. Ted Kennedy, didn’t really get it — at least not when it came to our own family, which shows that even the most committed, informed leaders on health care can still have old-school, unprocessed ideas about diseases of the brain.

I keep hearing that the 2016 presidential campaign is about big ideas and authenticity. Here’s a big idea that every person suffering from a mental illness or an addiction, and every American affected by those illnesses (so, everybody), knows is authentic.

Let’s start talking about every problem we have in this country in terms of how it can be addressed through improving diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mental illness and addiction. For more problems than you think — health care, criminal justice, employment, homelessness, even the endless cycle of tragic school shootings — it is the only reasonable, evidence-based approach we have never tried.

Every candidate for president in next year’s election should have a detailed and realistic platform for how he or she would dramatically improve diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mental illness and addiction. This proposal can’t just be part of an overall health plan — in reality, your health plan should be built around progressive changes in inpatient and outpatient care for mental illness and addiction care. Experts agree these illnesses provide perhaps the greatest opportunity to save lives and health care dollars if we do things differently: integrate care, be pro-active and stop pretending these aren’t chronic illnesses. One third of all hospitalizations in America involve mental illness and/or addiction, and many people who have these diagnosable medical conditions do not get the gold standard of care — either because they can’t afford it or because they are too stigmatized that the illnesses they have are chronic to stay on it.

Doing this is more than a political decision. It also means doing the personal work to challenge discrimination against these diseases, and the people who have them, at a very private level. I can attest to the challenges of living with these illnesses and how they are made worse by our fear of talking about them openly. Even after you get up the courage to admit you have one of these illnesses, you reach a whole new level of silence, laced with brain disease denial. And that silence is so damn loud.

That is partly because these illnesses are difficult to explain simply, and since they are in the brain, they can affect perception and communication. Hardly anyone, including those of us who have the illnesses, understands them as well as we would like, because they are chronic and debilitating but not always consistent. We can be in some of the same denial about them as our friends and family and work colleagues.

In my family, we almost never discussed these issues, even though my mother and both of my siblings and I were treated for substance use disorders (and my mother and I for mental illness) — and my father, who in today’s diagnostic world would probably have been seen as self-medicating against the PTSD of watching his brothers be killed, certainly would have benefited from medical care. Instead, we treated these issues like they were big secrets, even though there were entire sections in bookstores devoted to our family’s “secrets.”

If that sounds like a really specific Kennedy problem, it isn’t. It is a national struggle. In too many American families, these diseases are the worst-kept secret.

Our problems talking about these illnesses with our family and friends is a huge part of the reason our country does not have a consistent policy on their care. We all contribute to stigmatizing and discriminating against each other. Just as we have tried to work through racial and gender prejudice in this country, it is time to stop the discrimination against these brain diseases and those whose brains are affected by them.

There are still too many people whose family members don’t “believe in” mental illness or addiction, which is why, as a country, we haven’t “believed in” the treatment of these diseases. I urge you in this upcoming election to believe that change is possible.

Kennedy is a former member of the House of Representatives and the author of a new book, A Common Struggle: A Personal Journey through the Past and Future of Mental Health and Addiction, with Stephen Fried.

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Medical Marijuana

Medical Marijuana will almost certainly be on the Florida ballot again in 2016.  This article discusses the results of a new study about the effectiveness of medical marijuana treating chronic pain.  It can be found here.

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Sobriety and Cigarettes

A very interesting article exploring the benefits of quitting smoking from a sobriety standpoint from TheScienceExplorer.com can be found here.

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Panic Attack Symptoms

Here is some information on panic attacks, adapted from an article written by Johnna Medina, M.A.:

A panic attack is a discrete period of intense fear or discomfort emerging from either a calm or anxious state, in which four (or more) of the following symptoms developed abruptly and reached a peak within minutes:

• Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate

• Sweating

• Trembling or shaking

• Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering

• Feeling of choking

• Chest pain or discomfort

• Nausea or abdominal distress

• Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint

• Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself)

• Fear of losing control or going crazy

• Fear of dying

• Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations)

• Chills or heat sensations

Panic attacks often occur in people who are diagnosed with Panic Disorder.  If you think you may suffer from panic attacks, contact Maesk Group Counseling at 954-353-4680 to schedule your initial assessment.  There is no need to suffer any longer....this can be treated!

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Untreated Depression

Untreated Depression is a Threat to your Mental and Physical Health

Depression creates chaos in the entire body by throwing the stress response system out of alignment. The risk of heart disease, osteoporosis, diabetes and cancer are all raised as normal immune function is disturbed by anxiety, stress and /or depression. Difficult relationships, parenting and work issues all contribute to this situation. 

This post contains my“prescription” for becoming (and staying) healthy.  Here’s what we should all be doing for a healthy, happy lifestyle:

• Get a yearly physical exam.  Depression and anxiety can be related to thyroid and other issues;

• Exercise: it relieves stress, raises endorphin levels. It’s even better if you get outside in natural light to exercise;

• Journaling: research shows it increases hopefulness, releases stress, and calms the brain;

• Regular Sleep: essential to mood stability and a healthy immune system;

• A good social or family support system increases longevity and raises immune system function; and

• Professional Therapy: coming for a session BEFORE symptoms are out of hand and regular follow-ups. 

Now maybe you are thinking, well, if I could MAKE myself do all of these things, I’d be fine! What you may not realize is that a mental health provider is trained, licensed and qualified to be a resource to help you do these things. A therapist can be your encourager, your supporter, and your guide in prioritizing and planning your best, healthiest life. 

Therapy helps uncover the roadblocks to your success that exist outside of your awareness. These roadblocks include childhood messages, both told to you and modeled by your parents, and negative experiences that impact your habits to this day. Together we can gently uncover and examine these self-defeating beliefs without shame or judgment. When “the truth sets you free,” you are then able to move forward and achieve new levels of well being.

Maesk Group Counseling is here to help.  Call 954-353-4680 to take that first step.

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Sleep More!

Think you can get by on five or six hours of sleep per night?  Or think because you don't sleep much during the week you can "catch up" on the weekend?  Guess again.  We now know that sleep is crucial to your physical and mental health.

Following is a great article from CNN which references the suggested hours of sleep per night for each age group.  And if you need help, Maesk Group Counseling can work with you on sleep hygiene, and help you get more and better quality sleep.  

Check out the article here.

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Counseling for children and teens

Child counseling can be extremely successful if you support your child throughout the counseling process. Family counseling also works wonders if everyone bands together and supports each other through the changes that are being made. Follow these tips to support your child and family in therapy:

1. Be there to listen and offer caring support, without judgment, to your child during the time in child therapy

2. Meet with the child’s counselor to make sure personalities are a match for you and your child.

3. Be open and talk frequently with your child. Make sure discussions are age appropriate; early school aged children need brief, simple discussions or explanations, upper elementary age children may ask more detailed questions and may need help figuring out reality from fiction.

4. Don’t pressure the child to talk to you about what happened in the child counseling session, your child may tell you in his/her own time in his/her own way.

5. Keep the lines of communication open with the child’s counselor and the child. Showing your child that you trust the child’s counselor helps build trust.

6. Try not to rush change. Remember trust is built over time; it’s not any different in child and family counseling. Allow time for your child to learn to trust his/her counselor. If you become intimidated by the child-counselor relationship, bring it up to the counselor (there’s nothing to be embarrassed about).

7. Patience is extremely important throughout the child and family counseling process. Children often don’t know how to express their emotions and fears like an adult would, therefore may have some temporary behavior changes throughout the process.

8. Be a good role model, show the child you are willing to take care of yourself and if you need counseling, seek it.

9. Make time to discuss your child’s worries, fears, and even accomplishments. Be sure to turn off any distractions (phones, TV, video games, etc.) so your child knows how important the time with your child is to you.

10. Most importantly, enjoy favorite activities with your child alone and with the entire family.

If you have any questions, throughout the process, speak up. Maesk Group Counseling is here to help!

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Healthy Communication Tips

“Finding your voice” is a wonderful benefit of therapy, as you learn here that you have both a RIGHT to ask for what you want and the WAY to state your needs respectfully.  Some basic tips when you are “saying what you need to say:”

Use “I Need” instead of “you should.” 

It is not OK for you to tell other people how to live their lives. “Saying what you need to say” is NOT a license to judge, criticize or otherwise counsel others!

 It IS OK to require them to treat you with respect, but you must first ask respectfully. This means not yelling your message at them. Not using sarcasm or anger. It means speaking up firmly and courteously about what you will or will not tolerate.

Speak honestly, clearly and directly—don’t hint, manipulate or guilt-trip others. 

We get in trouble when we expect others to “just know” or read our minds. This is a common pitfall when dealing with the opposite sex. Women, most guys don’t get all the hints and signals that your girlfriends do. It’s not a sign of any lack of love. “Say what you need to say” without playing games.

After you say what you need to say, take responsibility for what comes next.

You have choices here. Maybe you’ll get what you’ve asked for, maybe you won’t. The next step is to decide what is required in order for you to stay in the relationship or on the job. Do you need to require marital counseling? Do you need a different job where you are respected? Do you need a time apart? Do you need to hire help to get things accomplished which are being neglected?

Then, do what you need to do.  Say what you need to say.  And let me know if I can help in that process.

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - An Eschatological Laundry List

Some of you may remember the book, "If You Meet Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!"  In it, the author Sheldon Kopp included his Eschatological Laundry List, what he called "A Partial Register of the 927 (or was it 928?) Eternal Truths."

Sometimes simplicity carries the message best.  I think you may find some of these simple messages enormously powerful and insightful.

• This is it!
• There are no hidden meanings.
• You can’t get there from here and besides there’s no place else to go.
• We are all already dying and we will be dead for a long time.
• Nothing lasts.
• There is no way of getting all you want.
• You can’t have anything unless you let go of it.
• You only get to keep what you give away.
• There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
• The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.
• You have a responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
• It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.
• You don’t really control anything.
• You can’t make anyone love you.
• No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.
• Everyone is, in his own way, vulnerable.
• There are no great men.
• If you have a hero look again: you have diminished yourself in some way.
• Everyone lies, cheats, pretends (yes, you too, and most certainly I myself).
• All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.
• All of you is worth something if you will only own it.
• Progress is an illusion.
• It can be displaced but never eradicated, as solutions breed new problems.
• Yet it to necessary to keep on struggling toward solution.
• Childhood is a nightmare.
• But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
• Each of us is ultimately alone.
• The most important things, each man must do for himself.
• Love is not enough but it sure helps.
• We have only ourselves, and one another. That may not be much, but that’s all there is.
• How strange that so often it all seems worth it.
• We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power, and partial knowledge.
• All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
• Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
• No excuses will be accepted.
• You can run, but you can’t hide.
• It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
• We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
• The only victory lies in surrender to oneself.
• All significant battles are fought within oneself.
• You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
• What at do you know … for sure … anyway?
• Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again…

From Maesk Group Counseling in Fort Lauderdale - Grief Counseling and the Seven Stages of Grief

SEVEN STAGES OF GRIEF

A long period of "depression" (not clinical depression), isolation, and loneliness happen late in the grief process, months after the tragedy strikes. It actually is normal and expected for you to be very depressed and sad several months later.  Outsiders do not understand this, and feel that it should be time for you to "get over it" and rejoin the land of the living. Just knowing that your desire to be alone with your sad reflections at this time is normal will help you deal with outside pressures. You are acting normally. They just don't "get it".  Here are the seven stages of grief.  Keep in mind that sometimes a person may move back and forth among the stages, rather than progress through them in a linear fashion.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-

You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living. 

After a period of time - say six months or so - if you are still feeling very depressed, or just not yourself, it is best to seek professional help.  Call Maesk Group Counseling to see up a consultation.  And above all, know that there is a way forward through the loss and pain.